Fat Man’s Misery
In Zion National Park, we can hike on designated trails, scramble across the slickrock, or we can canyoneer on technical (or non-technical) routes. Technical routes require equipment to get down the drop-offs when going down a canyon route from top to bottom. We picked Fat Man’s Misery and the Subway on our last trip to the area. Fat Man’s starts off the road in the eastern area of Zion. The route starts by going through a wooded canyon between Checkerboard Mesa and Crazy Quilt Mesa. Once over the crest of the canyon divide, the route is cross-country, requiring some navigation skills, then a descent into Misery Canyon across the slickrock.
The entrance into the narrows of Misery Canyon is the place to put on wetsuits and harnesses. Sculpted narrows await the explorer and the next two hours is a combination of scrambling, hiking, down-climbing, and rappelling.
Some sections are dark, many are quite narrow, some require “spidering” over narrow spots or past obstacles, but it’s all great fun.
Many of the sections of this route have picturesque grottos, carved canyons, and sinuous passages. The technical sections lie outside the park boundaries so a permit is not required, but this is no route for novices.
Four natural bridges are found along the way, but the author was too busy keeping up more experienced canyoneers to take the time to fish out his camera for the photos. Frequent plunges and cold-water swims through potholes means keeping electronics carefully double-drybagged. (Nevertheless, the camera was still damaged by being banged into walls on narrow downclimbs.) The water was cold and neoprene socks and a wetsuit are a must for this route.
We rappeled a number of times with the longest drop being about 40 feet. Eventually the canyon spills out to the East Fork of the Virgin River. After lunch on the shore, we headed down another impressive route, Parunuweap Canyon.
Similar to The North Fork of the Virgin River (The Narrows), the East Fork has sheer cliffs rising on both sides and wading in the river is required for about half a mile.
This canyon would be a destination in itself as a scenic route, but it is not an easy place to get to from any direction.
The route out can easily be missed so we watched for cairns in a grassy area on the right side. The Powell Plaque (commemorating the 1872 expedition) is also there somewhat hidden in an alcove. The “trail” is a bit of a scramble up a steep gully to the rim above. From there, cairns mark the return route, but good navigation is still required in the expansive bowls, ridges, terraces, and cliffs of the area. The return requires a long northwest traverse west to the right (hidden) canyon. A map, gps, or guide is recommended. This last section is south-facing and there are few trees for shade on a hot day.
The entire route can be done in 6-10 hours, depending on the ability of the group to move through the canyons quickly. We took about 6.5 hours, but the whole thing was so interesting, it felt like a shorter day. This was the highlight day of 2014 for me and a first venture into the world of technical canyoneering, but not the last….